"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize