she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize