Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
