Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
