TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
