She said her name was "party"
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
