cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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