She announced her abortion via fbk
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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