just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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