dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
