butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
