I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
