sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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