I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
