i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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