So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
