You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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