Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
