I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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