like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
