So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
