thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize