youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
