I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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