i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
