Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
