Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
