I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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