Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
