This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
