But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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