You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
