i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
