i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
