He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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