"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
