You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
