I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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