How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize