Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
