I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He did a backflip because drugs
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
