he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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