His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize