I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
