There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
