I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize