The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
