I want you more than these girls want KFC
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My vagina just clenched in fear
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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