so explain again why im purple
no
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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