it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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