I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
