Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
