are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
