Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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