It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
