Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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