But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
