question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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