4 words: hood of his car
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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